VISITOR # 
WHO WANT'SUM MEDIUM WELL ..?
... there was no getting around it, the rooster couldn't convince shorty that the aliens weren't chickens... after awhile he gave up, tossing up his feathers, foghorn concedes to the hawks belief and invites the entire barn yard to a bar-b-que as the aliens were stewing in their own juices... foghorn thought it made a very good substitute pit... everyone, except the swine, were partying and having a good time... the only drawback came with their first stool... by five o'clock the entire barn yard was over crowded with the oddest turds ever seen by man or beast... then that afternoon as martha came out to feed the flock, gather the eggs and milk the cows, she couldn't understand why no one was eating...
BIDDY... MAN I CAN'T LOOK ANOTHER MORSEL IN THE FACE...
BILLY... DAMN! I GOTTA CRAP AGAIN...
Inside the coop, martha was surprised to see ...
MARTHA... LORDY BEE! I CAN'T COUNT THE EGGS IN THIS COOP...She goes back out and notices that bessie and elsie had done gone and milked themselves ...
MARTHA... [scratching her noggin']... WHAT IN TARNATION IS A'GOIN' ON 'ROUND HERE...?
As martha returns to the farm house with two full pails of milk, a half a gross of eggs and more confused then when she started, we join the ladies in the coop ...
HENRIETTA... FOR SOME REASON, I GOT THIS URGE TO FLY...
BIDDY... AND I SEEM TO KNOW WHERE SECTOR B-14 IS ON THE STAR MAP...
HENRIETTA... WHAT STAR MAP...?
BIDDY... THE ONE IN MY NOGGIN'....
FOGHORN... AND I CAN'T SEEM TO CROW... [pointing]... BUT WOULD YOU TAKE A GANDER AT THIS BONER I'M TOTIN'...!
every hen in the coop applaudes with delight... soon there'll be a glut of off-spring... meanwhile, way on the other end of the farm ...
HOAGY... WHADDA YA' THANK, 'ZAT GUY A OINKER 'R WHOT...?
PORKUS... [checking him out]... WHADDA 'BOUT'EM...?
HOAGY... HE'S AS WIDE AS A HOUSE...
PORKUS... YOU WOULD BE TOO IF YA' ATE ALL A TIME LIKE HIM...
HOAGY... I AIN'T NO VEGATERAN...
PORKUS... AN' HE DON'T LIKE WAITIN' ROUND ALL DAY TA' GET FED...
HOAGY... 'AT WHY HE WENT VEGATERAN...?
PORKUS... USED A BE JUS' LIKE US....
HOAGY... WHY COME WE NE'ER GET THAT FAT...?
PORKUS... 'CAUSE NOBODY EVER FEEDS US...!
HOAGY... STILL, I WOULDN'T WANNA BE 'AT GUY...
PORKUS... I HEAR YOU...
YOU GODDA GO UP TO FINISH THE STORY...
... now, a word from the ' head ' office ...
SUDDENLY THE PARTY GETS LOUDER...
HOAGY... [hearing a rucus from the other animals].... WHADDA YOU THANKS GOIN' ON UP 'AIR...?
PORKUS... HOW SHOULD I KNOW!... [sulking]... NOBODY EVER VISITS US...
THEN THERE'S THE ONE ABOUT THE CHICKEN. THE DUCK AND THE METHODIST, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY... MEANWHILE, I'VE BEEN INVESTIGATING HOW THEY MAKE RUTABAGAS ... STRANGE. WHAT'S A PLATAPUS? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PLATAPUS? WHO GAVE 'EM THAT NAME? HAD TO BE SOMEBODY... I MEAN, IF I WERE A PLATAPUS AND I HAD THE CHOICE IN WHAT I WANTED TO BE CALLED, IT SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T BE A ' PLATAPUS '... AND DANDRUFF, WHAT'S WITH THAT STUFF? IT'S DRIED OUT SKIN FLAKES... SO WHY YOU WANNA SCARE PEOPLE BY CALLIN' IT DANDRUFF? IT'S SKIN FLAKES FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! TODAY'S PONDER: WHAT DID WOMEN USE BEFORE KOTEX...?
